Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why Manny will be Late to Spring Training

Courtesy of good friend and honorary-sistah-for-the-day, TruBluSoxFan. (NOTE: For those who don't already know, Tru is actually a brothah.)

10. Manny doesn't use the Gregorian calendar.

9. Julian said it would be funny.

8. Manny fell asleep inside his Green Monster repro.

7. Manny hyper-extended his index finger practicing "the point."

6. "Petey called and got me all confused. Again."

5. He strained his right hammy on his left knee.

4. Manny can't decide what hair style to wear this season.

3. "I don't know how to program my new Tom Tom for Ft. Myers."

2. "I'm getting a note from Genske; he said it worked before."

1. "No way the new Japanese dude upsets my entrance."

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Rally Against Cancer

Many of the sistahs have personal experience with the Jimmy Fund and Dana Farber. Because of this along with their connection to the Red Sox, we try our best to support Dana Farber and the Jimmy Fund any chance we get.

So when we received an email about the "Rally Against Cancer Day", we decided to start a 'team' to support the Jimmy Fund.

We've set the bar at $500 for donations we'd like to raise - but will be thrilled if we surpass that.

The details of the 'competition', straight from the Jimmy Fund's website:

Join Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox Nation and your colleagues in battling cancer by participating in Rally Against Cancer Day on April 10th. Your participation in this program is critical and simple. I would like to invite you to join our team by giving $5 to the Jimmy Fund and, in return, you will be able to wear your favorite Red Sox apparel to work on Opening Day. Not everyone can be at Fenway Park on April 10th, but this is a great way for you to join your colleagues in showing support for the Red Sox, while rallying to help the life-saving mission of the Jimmy Fund.

To join our team, simply log on here. Once there, join our team by selecting the ‘Start or Join a team’ option. Our team is listed as Sox Sistahs (or you can go directly here to see our page.The team that raises the most money will be paid a visit from Kevin Youkilis himself, so join and spread the word about this great event with a great cause!
Okay, so we aren't sure how a visit from Youk would work out if our team DOES win, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!

Thanks for the support!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

If Beazer Writes a Phone Call about This, I'm Gonna Smack Her

Lenny DiNardoFarewell, Lenny.

Dear Lenny, sexy Lenny, guitar playing Lenny, "Do Me Lenny."

Rule 5 Lenny, lefty out of the 'pen Lenny, 7.85 ERA in '06 Lenny, still has a World Series ring Lenny.

Favorite of the sistahs Lenny, gets no respect from Beazer Lenny, just friends with Bronson Lenny.

A haiku for Lenny:

Though heading westward
Lenny will forever be
Object of my lust
It just won't be the same without him.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

But Who's That Other Guy?

(I posted this earlier on the Triumphant Red Sox Blog but thought it would fit over here, too.

It's a warm Tuesday in Fort Myers. All eyes (and cameras) are on Daisuke Matsuzaka as the new multi-billion-yen pitcher arrives at the Red Sox' training complex for the first time. The frenzied media capture his every move, his every gesture. Here's Daisuke, Nike duffel in hand, walking from his black Cadillac to the clubhouse. Here's Daisuke talking to some of the staff. Daisuke stretching his arm. Daisuke stretching his hammy. Daisuke running, throwing, smiling, laughing. It's The Daisuke Show, the 26-year-old righty and an audience of a hundred or so of his closest media buddies.

Wait a minute, there is one picture that shows someone else. Clearly, there is some mistake. That guy isn't famous. No one recognizes him. Is he a player? He looks about 16. A clubhouse boy, maybe? The guy who sweeps the sunflower shells out of the dugout after everyone is gone?

No, it's Matsuzaka's unlikely co-star in the spectacle, catcher George Kottaras, who according to the Boston Globe's Gordon Edes was tapped with no notice or fanfare to play catch with the newcomer. Timing is everything, and today Kottaras is the guy who walks into a Hollywood coffee shop and gets discovered by a television director looking for just the right face. The guy who stops at the convenience store on the way home to pick up a gallon of milk and, hey, while he's there, buys a lottery quick-pick that comes up a winner the next day. The guy who, in too much of a rush coming out of the hotel elevator, bumps into the woman of his dreams.

Yesterday, Kottaras had been working all morning on catching drills with Gary Tuck, the new Sox bullpen coach, when Edward "Pookie" Jackson, one of the Sox clubhouse men, stuck in his head and said Matsuzaka was looking for someone to play catch with.

"'OK,' I said," Kottaras said. "'It doesn't matter. I'll do it.'"

Way to play it cool, George.

They stretched, Matsuzaka did some light jogging and twists, and then he grabbed a ball and trotted 20 yards or so from Kottaras. Originally, that was supposed to be the media's cue to depart; Matsuzaka had conveyed to the Sox that he wanted his first game of catch to be private. But, evidently, he relented, because for the next 10 minutes or so, a ball passed back and forth between the two rookies — the catcher making the big league minimum, the pitcher with a $103 million price tag hanging from his sleeve. Kottaras said the sound of whirring cameras never stopped.

And that is the beauty of spring training. The superstar works alongside the guy with "upside" (translation: the hope that great potential will someday be fulfilled). It hardly matters that the gulf between them is millions of dollars, the difference between every media member knowing your name versus having to ask the security guy who that skinny dark-haired kid with the glove is. At spring training, none of that matters. They're just two players, less than three years apart in age, having a catch. Maybe later, they'll throw back a couple beers together.

The photographers don't get that. To them, there is The Next Big Thing and then there's the guy who got into the picture by accident. But to those of us who go to spring training to see the players, all the players, the chance to check out the young unknowns is almost as big a deal as the chance to see Daisuke's gyroball. It's the younger guys who will be signing autographs, posing for pictures with school kids who are thrilled to meet a real-life professional ballplayer. It's the younger guys who we'll remember five years down the road when we're flipping through an old scorebook saying, Remember when we saw so-and-so in his first major league camp and now he's an all-star? Or even, Remember so-and-so who had so much promise? I wonder if he's still in baseball.

Maybe Kottaras will become the target of the cameras, a franchise player, someone whose jersey is popular at the souvenir stands. But if not, he has had something most young prospects will never enjoy: a moment in the spotlight. No matter where his career goes from here, I'm sure he'll look back on this experience and smile.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

A Letter from a Friend

Dear Johnny Damon (or can I just call you Johnny?):

You and me, we have a lot in common. We both have World Series rings. We both are misunderstood by the media and the fans. And we both love wrestling!

We're soul brothers. Made for each other. So I was thinking about a way to bring the two of us together. Not in a gay way (although I hear some ladies dig that. Maybe there's some money in it for us?) but like real brothers. And because you're my brother, I have an offer that I know you'll love. What's say you go on TNA with me and David Eckstein? (Hey, he has a World Series ring too! We're like TRIPLETS!)

All you have to do is whack a few guys with folding chairs (Dale Torborg sure can take a hit! His dad is so proud!) and look mean. It'll be fun and we'll make a boatload of money doing it. The people, they LOVE wrestling!

This will give you a chance to show the fans in New York and Boston that you aren't some weak-armed, money-hungry, egomaniac looking for any opportunity to whore yourself out to the masses.

This will give you a chance to show the fans in New York and Boston that even though you throw like a girl and your shoulder and foot are thisclose to falling apart, you aren't afraid to get yourself beat up in a fake wrestling match just to score some publicity and some wrestler-loving ass a week before spring training begins.

It'll be fun.

(And did I mention the money?)

Oh yeah, and Johnny, one last thing, if it's all right with you, the guys at TNA asked me to make sure you don't actually, you know, say anything when you're on screen. Some people still think wrestling is real and we don't want to ruin the illusion with your acting skills.

Hope to see you on Sunday!

Your good friend (but not in the gay way unless we get paid for it),

AJ Pierzynski

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A cell phone rings in Cincinnati

::stares at his phone:: Come on, Bronson, I know you're there!
::answers the phone with a heavy sigh:: Hey, Len.
Bronson, man, CONGRATULATIONS! $25 million more with two more years. TWENTY FIVE MILLION! Way to go, man!
Thanks? That's it? Thanks? Bronson, aren't you happy?
Happy? Yeah, I guess so.
You don't sound happy. Are you drunk?
No, I'm not drunk. I'm just sitting here reading my new contract.
Dude, how cool is that? The Reds hooked you up until 2010 and threw stupid money at you!!! You should buy Theo a fruit basket.
A fruitbasket? Lenny, I just signed a contract that practically guarantees I'll spend the next five years in Cincinnati. CINCINNATI.
For an extra twenty-five million dollars, dude!
Lenny, you've never been to Cincinnati, have you?
Well, no. I've flown OVER it though. It looks nice.
(sighs) I guess.
Hey, they have the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, there!

Lenny, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland.
I knew that. (long pause) Hey, Bron, look at it this way, 2o1o is in three years. By then you could throw out your shoulder or get hit in the head with a line drive!
Well, at least I have that going for me.
Don't be sad, Bronson. Think of all that money you're going to make.
I know, Len. But now that I've signed this extension, I realize that money isn't everything:

(Photo by Matthew Bower)

Related Entries:
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 1)
A cell phone rings in the middle of the night... (Part 2)
A cell phone rings late in the afternoon...
A cell phone rings in a lonely hotel room...
Somewhere in Kansas City, a cell phone rings...
A cell phone rings in Boston

With props (or apologies) to Surviving Grady and The Dugout.

(Beazer's note: I'm both sad and happy about this. So right now, this is the best I can do. Kick some ass in Cincinnati, B. - Or, suck it big time so that Krivsky wants to trade you! That would work too!)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Andre, Cory and Luis

In my previous blog about my first Trot Nixon sighting, I mention being at Fenway Park on September, 1, 1993 for batting practice. I was also still at Fenway Park at 1:30 a.m.! There was a long rain delay that night and the game went into extra innings but the Rangers beat the Red Sox 5-3 in 12 innings. There weren't many people left in the park when the game ended. It also happened to be Nolan Ryan's last visit to Fenway and the fans gave him a huge standing ovation.

Okay, now to Andre Dawson, Cory Bailey and Luis Ortiz.
That summer my sister had access to the family room at Fenway Park because she babysat the trainer's children during the games for a couple of weeks. After the game (at 1:30 a.m.) we were waiting to say goodbye to Charley (the trainer)in the family room. There were only two other families (okay, we weren't family but no one knew that) waiting in the family room. Andre Dawson's wife and two little girls were there. I'm assuming the children had been sleeping during the game but they were wide awake now and cute as could be. Andre walked in and my first impression of him was that he had very long, very skinny legs and he was hobbling when he walked. His knees were so bad by then that when his little girls ran up to him, it was difficult for him to bend down to pick them up. His huge smile absolutely lit up his face when he saw those two munchkins.
The other people in the family room were the mother and father of Cory Bailey. He never became a very good pitcher but on September 1, 1993, he made his pitching debut for the Red Sox and the first batter he had to face in a tie ballgame was Juan Gonzalez. Yikes! Talk about getting thrown to the vultures! Cory got out of the inning without allowing a base runner. I swear he floated into the family room that night. His parents asked what it was like facing Juan Gonzalez and he said, "he looked 10 feet tall from only 60 feet away".
Accompanying Cory Bailey was Luis Ortiz. He's another player who came and went through the Red Sox organization in a couple of years. He'd made his Red Sox debut the night before on August 31, 1993. He came to bat 3 times and got two hits and an RBI. The Sox only scored one run that night. Luis was still floating on air from his major league debut. As everyone was filing out of the family room to the parking lot, I congratulated Luis on his good first game. I'm sure he figured I was someones mother (I am but not the mother of a Red Sox player) and he turned around and grabbed my hand saying "thank you, thank you very much! It was really exciting!"
There isn't a huge point to this blog except to get a little insight into the lives of the baseball players that most of us don't get to see. I'm one of the old fans so I can relate to watching Youk's Mom shouting from the stands watching her son hit a home run for his first major league hit. I know how proud Cory Bailey's parents were that night. I've watched Trot Nixon's son, Chase, stand along the wall that's in front of his spring training seat, with his head in his hands as he watches every pitch of the game intently. I think we may see him playing in the major leagues in 20 years or so. I go to all the spring training games and I like to stay after the 7th inning to watch the young guys getting their chance to play with some of the major league players. I saw Iggy Suarez get his first hit and then he stayed after the game to sign autographs.
I've rambled long enough. I also apologize for the picture placement being wacky but it's the best someone who is almost computer illiterate can do.